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Finding Silence in Asia

Let’s be in a moment Silence:

Stop what you are doing, close your eyes, take 3 deep breathes in and out.

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Welcome to the silence menu where I listed some of the silence experience I know and practise, I would love to share it out. If you have been looking for space to be in quiet, or to experience silence, these might help you.

The Silence Menu:

  • Experiences (events / retreats)
  • Places
  • Tools
  • Books
  • Apps / Websites
  • DIY Practices & Tips

Experiences (events / retreats)

Asia – 

  • Malaysia (Worldwide):
    • Vipassana Meditation: Vipassana, which means to see things as they really are, is one of India’s most ancient techniques of meditation. It was taught in India more than 2500 years ago as a universal remedy for universal ills, i.e., an Art of Living.
    • The technique of Vipassana Meditation is taught at ten-day residential courses during which participants learn the basics of the method, and practice sufficiently to experience its beneficial results. There are no charges for the courses – not even to cover the cost of food and accommodation. All expenses are met by donations from people who, having completed a course and experienced the benefits of Vipassana, wish to give others the opportunity to also benefit.
      (https://www.dhamma.org/en-US/index)
  • Singapore:
    • Pause Mag’s SIGNATURE PAUSE SESSION: THE ART OF SLOWING DOWN
      • PAUSE is a platform dedicated to fresh, authentic and uplifting perspectives on living well. In response to modern society’s ailments of burnout, depression, suicide and anxiety (just to name a few), this is a space that provides inspirational, intelligent, and well-researched content to encourage PAUSE and the elevation of well-being on one’s own terms. Undoubtedly, the mantra of ‘slowing down to speed up’ resonates strongly with the team. (https://www.thepausemag.com/in-session-now/pause-signature-session-8tn8x-an6gr)
    • Mindful Moments
      • Mindful Moments is hosting a monthly practice session open to all who are interested in practicing mindfulness in a group, whether or not you have any experience in mindfulness.
      • ​Each session will be led by Erin or a guest mindfulness practitioner / teacher, and will focus on different mindfulness practices or themes. Each practice session will last 30 – 45 minutes, after which you may wish to have a chat with Erin about mindfulness or mingle with one another. (http://www.mindfulmoments.sg/take-a-pause.html)
  • Thailand:
    • Plum Village is where Thay has realised his dream of building a Beloved Community: creating a healthy, nourishing environment where people can learn the art of living in harmony with one another and with the Earth. At
    • Plum Village we weave mindfulness into all our daily activities, training ourselves to be mindful throughout the day: while eating, walking, working, or enjoying a cup of tea together. Plum Village is a home away from home, and a beautiful, nourishing, simple environment in which to cultivate the mind of awakening.
    • (http://www.thaiplumvillage.org/)
  • Bali, Indonesia: Bali Silent Retreat 
    • Bali Silent Retreat is more than a yoga and meditation retreat – it’s a self-sustaining eco-sanctuary with restorative and inspirational programs and events. Surrounded by Unesco protected lush rice fields, jungle, healing hot springs and the sacred Mt. Batu Karu, people nourish body & soul and reconnect to true self  and inner voice in their own way and own time in profound peace and silence.
    • (https://www.balisilentretreat.com/)
  • India:
    • Silent Retreat at Shreyas take a break from the stresses and strains of modern day life and experience complete relaxation and tranquillity on the Silent Retreat programme. Start with a specialist wellness consultation which will help to tailor your stay exactly to your individual needs before embarking on a journey of self-discovery at this peaceful Indian retreat.
    • Spend your days relaxing in silence and feel instantly regenerated through a range of meditation and yoga classes, authentic spa treatments and rejuvenating massages. This programme is ideal for those wanting to get away from it all.
    • (https://www.healthandfitnesstravel.com/asia/india/shreyas/silent-retreat)
  • Koh Rong, Cambodia:

West

  • The Big Quiet: Mass meditations for modern people. Made possible by community collaboration. (https://www.facebook.com/bigquiet.nyc%20/)
  • The Shine Movement: A variety show with mindfully-curated content that happens pop-up style in Los Angeles and New York about once every 2 months. The event features music from local bands, inspiring short films, group meditation, grassroots philanthropy, delicious food, and storytelling. The Shine’s mission is to create a fun and welcoming social environment where attendees can strike up meaningful conversations and make lasting connections that leave them feeling inspired to do more, give more, and be more.  (http://www.theshinemovement.org/)

Places (cafes, nature)

Asia

  • KL, Malaysia: Jing-Si Books and Cafes (Bukit Bintang and more) Great environment to study and relax. The teas smell and taste so good. You can stay here as long as long u like and read the books here for free https://www.facebook.com/JingsiCafe.Malaysia/ 
  • Bangkok, Thailand: The Nap Lab is a Co-working space, play area and nap area https://www.facebook.com/NapLab-808498162583752/
  • Koenji, Japan: R-za Dokushokan, a quiet cafe in Koenji is a small Cafe for people to read books. Here, conversations are not allowed, you have to keep a low voice even when you are making an order. https://matcha-jp.com/en/829
  • Singapore: The Book Cafe is a book-themed café that offers a relaxed ambience and casual dining on an extensive cosmopolitan menu that reflects modern dietary trends. http://www.thebookcafe.com.sg/

West –

  • Rechaj: A modern meditation and nap studio in New York. https://recharj.com/
  • Silent Space: It’s a platform of UK to identify an area of a garden or a park to temporarily reserved for silent visiting.  It usually runs for just a few hours a week. Once inside a Silent Space, we stop talking, turn off our phones and cameras, and switch off from social media. There are no other rules. https://silentspace.org.uk/gardens/

Tools

  • Earphones,
  • Earplugs,
  • Eye Mask,
  • Journal,
  • Pen

Books

  • Eckhart Tolle: The Power of Now, A New Earth
  • Don Miguel Ruiz: The Four Agreements 

Apps / Websites

  • Calm: We help people to relax, meditate and sleep. https://www.calm.com/
  • Headspace: It’s an app that teaches you how to meditate. https://www.headspace.com/
  • Moments: Moment is an iOS app that automatically tracks how much you use your iPhone and iPad each day. If you’re using your phone too much, you can set daily limits on yourself and be notified when you go over. You can even force yourself off your device when you’re over your limit. https://inthemoment.io/ 
  • Pause: An online platform (www.thepausemag.com) that aspires to bring readers fresh, authentic and uplifting perspectives on living well. https://www.thepausemag.com/
  • Zenpen.io: A minimalist writing zone, where you can block out all distractions and get to what’s important. The writing! https://zenpen.io/

DIY Practices & Tips

  • Take off time from devices
  • Make a Quiet space / Zen Room at home
  • Eat in silence
  • Walk silently in the nature
  • Listen to the noise surrounding

 

May you enjoy the quiet.

Highly appreciate if you could Support Finding Silence Project:

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Love, 

Vic Qi

 

 

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7-Day Guide to Be Happier + Healthier

Is this you?

Are you either feeling numb, bored, or just tired of routine work? Constantly seeking for pleasure and excitement? You know what’s good for you but you just didn’t do it.

Well, all we want is just to be happy and healthy. Why it seems to be so far from reach sometimes?

The happy news is..

I have gathered my practises of my inward journey into a 7-day starter guide to make small replacements in daily life from feeling stuck to feeling good. All you need is just giving yourself 21 minutes 1 day and grab a journal plus pen. Wala, you are ready!

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Starting With Three Simple Tips To Feel Good

Tips 1: Investing 21 minutes out of 1440 minutes a day

Set timer for 21 minutes a day to be away from distractions – digital, people to connect to yourself by doing nothing, relaxing or napping.

Tips 2: Investing A Journal and Pen

Write your grateful and feel-good thoughts in a journal, one after you are awake and one before you sleep.

Tips 3: Try New Things

Replace the distractions and unhealthy habits to healthier practises. Try new practises daily to experience better health.

Follow White Elephant Journey on Facebook! As I am fundraising for this journey to document love, connection and well-being practises from Malaysia to India to Nepal to Tibet. My intention is to create a happier + healthier ways of living to the community – You so to receive funds in return to explore and create more. Notice the cycle of what comes around, goes around?


 

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To Ensure You Take Further Action

If you are serious about making baby step changes to be happier and healthier, I welcome you to sign up for the First 7-day Happier + Healthier Guide as trial.

With token of appreciation of RM10, you will receive:

  • 3 reasons on why it is so hard for us to be happier + healthier – understanding mind and habit;
  • 3 promises a guide to start feeling good and
  • the perk of all is you will be receive daily suggestions of healthier practises from me for 7 days.

I would also love to do a day 8 follow-up session with you on your experience with this guide. All we want is to take step-by-step action to feel better each day, what do you say? Then, if you are feeling good about the First 7 days, we will move on to The Next 7 days and the Last 7 days, a total of 21 days to be happier + healthier as you wish.

Kindly Register here To Begin The First 7 Days Guide:https://goo.gl/forms/MvY0AoqiiulecEq72

Kindly Make Payment to Receive A Welcome Pack here:

*Note: Please notify VicQi after payment at viqipan@gmail.com.


 

How Can I Give to Support The Upcoming Exploration and how can you be apart? 

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Lovely friends, I am creating different ways to give and receive, if you deem any is suitable for you or others, please keep me in mind, it will helps in raising funds for this White Elephant Journey.

  • I am creating workshop, events, pop-up store related to becoming happier and healthier.
  • I am also selling my hand drawn White Elephant reminders and selling healthy products like coconut oil from myLoveEarth.com which I will receive small commission.
  • If you love my content and creation, you can support a small monthly contribution at Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/whiteelephantjourney.
  • If you want to help more, you could also support a cause I am fundraising to the Orang Asli (aboriginals) children here: https://www.simplygiving.com/suka-charity-climb-to-mount-kinabalu.

Anything I could help with to raise funds, please do not hesitate to share me, I am open for opportunities! I would love to be apart of making a happier+healthier me and you!

Have a good week!

Love & hugs, 

VicQi

 

 

 

 

 

The Wild Woman

*This is a Short post extracted from Authentic Wild Woman post*

How would you describe a wild woman? 

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An uncontrollable mad woman is the extreme side, we are looking at the one who is free, untamed and comfortable at one skin. The one who would dance freely inside the flowers field without shoes with beautiful dress and just don’t care how people would look at her but all she matters is how she look at herself. I believed we all have this wild side within, maybe some has deeply bury this side of them, maybe some just needed a little push and pull. 

The wild woman is the essence of every woman’s soul. She is a force of nature, deeply connected with Mother Earth, as she is with her own body. she understands her emotions, embraces her sexuality and her power as a creatress without shame or apology. When we begin to awaken her, she will tear through all the barriers we have to reclaiming our true self, and will set us free. – Hannah Lo

I am a wild woman, I do things out of the norm, I stay true to myself by honouring my needs first. But, I have to be honest, I do have doubts, I do find it hard to speak up at times, I long for more passion and I know something so deep is calling me. Sometimes, I put on a good girl mask for the sake of my family and my loved ones, sometimes I put on a mask of a follower where I follow the social rules, sometimes I put on a mask of a crybaby to the people around me as I get triggered easily by my loved ones. We would wear different mask on different settings facing different kind of people. And sometimes I wonder, who am I, truly. 

 

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~ Rumi


A Wild Woman Encounter Workshop

Then one day, I saw A Wild Woman Encounter Workshop created by Hannah Lo and Ajanta, I am very much interested to be apart as the word ‘WILD’ has been at the back of the mind for years. I signed up for these 3 hours workshop hosted by two incredible women who are here to awaken our deep seated wild side. This workshop is a taster for a 3 days wild woman awakening retreat in July.

 

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In this serene OurBodySpace studio, we are invited to remembering and reconnecting our wild authentic self by first getting in touch of our feelings and sharing it. I love the first part where we acknowledge how we feel and being able to share it with someone. We were introduced ways of reconnection with breathing, words, and my favourite – body movement.

I let go of my perceive self image when we are required to play out different roles, there was one session when we are given the space and time to show 8 different types of woman characteristics from within to without. It is really interesting to observe how we would project ourselves when we were given different characters: shy, playful, angry, divine etc. It does release the deep seated side of me, and allows me to embrace all side within especially the sensual energy.

As per femininity, I love how we relook into our sacred private parts which are pretty much known as a taboo topic in Asian culture, we embrace our feminine side by honouring our boobies and yoni, it was really fun running around holding our boobies and greet each other. 

Here are some of the captured photos of the workshop:

 

How this wild woman encounter really helps me is by having the opportunity in breaking down the barrier of what’s not me and having someone who can hold such space for us to do so. There will be tons of articles and resources available online about tuning in our wild side, but it is the action and practises that make the difference.

This serves as a door opening a new perspective of how we can see ourselves as women and the world as a whole, then everything changes for the better.

Here is my sharing in video 🙂 

To experience such awakening, it is highly recommended to find out yourself. Hereby, I am inviting you for the upcoming 3-day retreat with Hannah Lo and Ajanta in July. This retreat is for you if you want to: 

  • *Get clarity around your boundaries, owning your yes and your no, and asking for what you want. 
  • *Find ways to express suppressed rage, anger and frustration in a safe, empowering and liberating way. 
  • *Embrace your sexuality and feel more pleasure and aliveness in your body.
  • *Reconnect with your womb, begin to heal and learn about the power of your Yoni. 
  • *Re-ignite your internal fire, passion and zest for life!
  • *Experience being held, seen and fully supported by a powerful sisterhood of women. 
  • ————-

You can expect: Shakti Yoga, Sexual Energy Cultivation , Female Anatomy and Womb Healing, Tantric Practices and Sexual Empowerment, Reclaiming your authentic voice, Exploring your primal nature, Powerful Processes, Beautiful Rituals 

And all in the most loving and safe space, surrounded by women supporting you, honouring you and bringing sacredness to your female body. 

Details:

  • DATE: Fri, Sat, Sun 13th -15th July 2018 
  • TIME: 12 – 8PM each day 
  • VENUE: Ohanajo Studio, Sunway SPK
  • INCLUDES: Lunch each day with light refreshments

**EXTRA BONUS** INTEGRATION SESSION

  • DATE: Sun, 22nd July, 3:30 – 5:30pm
  • VENUE: OhanaJo Studio, Sunway SPK

The Facilitators’s Brief:

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Ajanta

Diagnosed with a crippling and “incurable” illness in 2012, Ajanta left her corporate career as lawyer and embarked on a search for an alternative method of healing. Her journey led her to Asia and deep into yoga, meditation, Energy & Shamanic Work, transpersonal psychotherapy, Taoist practices, and Tantra. She studied and practised with teachers from all over the world. 

Hannah Lo

Hannah is a speaker, singer, workshop facilitator and guide for women who want to transform their relationship to their body, emotions, femininity and sexuality. Hannah has to this date facilitated over 50 workshops, classes and talks. Her work is an embodiment, experiential focused approach to help women remember their inherent connection to themselves, their intuition and their wild free spirits.

Find out more: https://www.facebook.com/events/633449780337051/


 

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“The Goddess is a woman who is a warrior. She is fierce and wild. She loves deeply and is compassionate towards all life. She is passionate and uncontrolled. She is untamed and she is free. Her thoughts are not in the past or in the future, -she is totally absorbed by the now and here.

A Goddess stands up for herself and knows that she is the creator of her reality. Responsible and courageous she paves her way through life gracefully and smiling.Goddess knows what she wants, what she doesn’t want and she will be clear about it.A Goddess does not bend herself to make a man like her, want her or even love her. She loves herself unconditionally and she has no need for confirmation.A Goddess does not comply with rules or society’s standards and she won’t care what others think of her. She honors her Goddess-Self.She is the Mother, the sacred life-giver.One cannot play games or hide truth from a Goddess. An awakened woman sees all.She knows about intentions, she might even read minds .It is neither through words that one can impress her, nor with money, possessions or titles but only through the power of an open heart and a calm mind that steps forward with absolute clarity and truth.”

And when you become a diamond, you will understand why life had to pressure you. =)

 

I love and accept myself fully. Wonderful awakening ahead.

 

Love and hugs, 

VicQi

Becoming Authentic Wild Woman

Dear Love,

 

This is A Post Dedicated For Women. 

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How would you describe a woman?

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Beautiful, sexy, cute, confident, fit, maybe. Each and every woman has her own uniqueness, a combination of different characters, a mixture of yin and yang, certain level of femininity and masculinity, we all own these. And this makes a woman attractive. 

I personally adore many women in life, which own the element by being one true self, showing others who you really are – the authentic self. I love these women who speak the truth, act out as per how they feel without strings attached to their actions on how the world would perceive them, or mostly they do not judge and limit themselves as per the world’s expectations. They embrace their feminine appearance, the gift of the yin side which are able to create the art of cooking, art of beauty, and motherhood meanwhile also embracing the masculine side.   

Now, my question is how can I be my authentic self?

 

There is a constant juggle between fulfilling my own needs and the world’s (people close to me) needs. We can talk about the society’s perspective and cultural expectation of women, but I would rather to focus on the how-can-we-free-ourselves-to-be-our-true-self part.

To dig deeper, we travels back to our childhood. I am raised to suppress and hide my feelings since young, I was told not to cry out loud and always have to behave like a good girl especially being the eldest, slowly I got this habit of crying without letting anyone knows because I thought I might annoyed others.

Portrait of two young vietnamese girls in their classroom. North Vietnam, Asia

This is not to blame our beloved parents and caretakers for what they have not known at that moment as these traits were passed from generations where they might not be aware of the impact and it is highly likely that the same thing happened to them too. 

So, growing up, we learned that we will receive affections and attention only when we suppress our feelings and be a good girl, thus these pile up emotions bring us ‘this’ perspective of life. 

These “hide your feelings”, “be a good girl”, “wait forever”, “you are not good enough” have led us into a safety pattern – the shutting-it-all-out pattern. This is designed to protect us when we were young with no capability of taking care of oneself. A lot of fear of losing affections and the habit sacrificing own needs developed so we could continually be loved.

If you notice the pattern on how our anger and sadness were triggered most of the time linked back to our childhood wounds of not feeling enough, and we would normally react with anger or tears according to our designed safety pattern. And these emotional ride will be repeatedly triggered like a familiarity of “ah, it’s happening again” until we do something about it. 

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My trigger point comes when my mum and my partner keep nagging about the same thing, with good intentions, but this would trigger “something wrong with me” or “I am not good enough” and if I am in a tired-after-long-day mode, I would react with anger as a warning, and followed by the tears.  I learned that my reaction to this trigger point falls back to one of my childhood memories. Looking at now, the good news is, I am aware of this behaviour and practicing to respond with love by realising this emotion is just a memory of the past plus the nagging does not reflect who I truly am.


Becoming The Authentic Self

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Authenticity= The Courage to be Yourself.

 

  1. The first step to be my authentic self is to be aware of the past wounds, the repeated emotional ride and acknowledge there is a need for healing. Then, everything falls into place by itself. I started to listen to my inner child who was hurt back then, who constantly asking for attention and affection. When I feel hurt, I learn to be with ‘her’, and heal this inner child from within. Being able to acknowledge that we have an issue is the beginning of transformation, where the journey of healing begins. Being hurt by others is not our choice, but we can choose to heal ourselves from the repeated emotional ride.

 

“You cant’ change how people treat you or what they say about you. All you can do is change how you react to it.” -Mahatma Gandhi 

 

2. At the same time, the second step is by expressing your own needs by speaking what you feel and telling your needs. With this, you are showing others who you really are and if you are hurt, share your feelings by expressing “ I felt hurt by your words”, quite simple but it would be hard for someone who has been suppressing it deep down. Take note on how can we express responsibly, start with “I feel..” instead of “‘your words made me feel..”, with this, we are taking 100% responsibility on our feelings instead of giving the power away to others.  We would want to be fair to others by taking our fair share of responsibility but not taking other’s share of responsibility, everyone has to own their feelings. 

 

“If you focus on the hurt, you will continue to suffer; if you focus on the lesson, you will continue to grow.”  

 

3. The third step is to show who you really are, to shine from within and then empowering women to be their true self. This does not mean you have to complete the first two step to reach the third steps, all three are happening simultaneously where we would experience the same emotions but every time we got better with awareness and response. To be an authentic woman, I am maintaining the awareness, continuously healing from within, expressing my needs. There is also one way of being authentic – what we called the wild woman.  

And when you become a diamond, you will understand why life had to pressure you. =)

Wonderful week ahead.

 

Love and hugs, 

VicQi

Charity Climb to Mount Kinabalu

Heyo, I have signed up for a Charity Climb to Mount Kinabalu! *Clap Clap*

It is a Hike to support Orang Asli pre-schools education in 3 villages (one in my hometown, Gopeng) by SUKA Society.

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We want to raise RM2,500 (per participants) + 3 sponsorships for Orang Asli children. Help us reach our goal! Here is where you can donate: https://www.simplygiving.com/suka-chari…

Your contribution helps raising funds to engage a teacher, an assistant and support the monthly school expenses for the three pre-schools in peninsular Malaysia. Every penny matters!

Info: For every 100 Orang Asli (aborigines) children entering Standard 1, only 6 will be expected to continue their studies up to Form 5. This equates to a 94% dropout rate.

Appreciate all your support, click ‘Like’ or share it to those who cares, and best if you could contribute to support the children.

Watch the video to know more 🙂 


More details about The Orang Asli, The Charity Climb and Orang Asli pre-school Education

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Orang Asli:

Original People “natural people” or “aboriginal people” Orang Asli are the indigenous minority peoples of Peninsular Malaysia. Some of the ethnics live permanently in rural areas while some of them start to live in urban area but still very few. 

Most of the ethnics in this group are ‘Kensiu’, ‘Kintak’, ‘Jahai’, ‘Lanoh’ , ‘Mendriq’, and ‘Batek’. Then, the second group known as Senoi is the largest group of Orang Asli with about 54 % of the Orang Asli population. They have six ethnics in this group such as ‘Semai’, ‘Temiar’, ‘Jah Hut’, ‘Chewong’, ‘Mah Meri’ and ‘Semoq Beri’. Finally, the third group is Aboriginal Malays (Proto-Malay) in which about 43 % of the Orang Asli population and the second largest group. The ethnics in this group are ‘Temuan’, ‘Semelai’, ‘Jakun’ , ‘Orang Kanaq’, ‘Orang Kuala’ and ‘Orang Selatar’

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To help the community achieve a good and decent standard of living, the Orang Asli community must be empower through better education, as the education is the only way that help the community’s future to acquire much needed knowledge and skills for their survival in the modern world. 

The dropped out rate among the Orang Asli schoolchildren, at all levels, is disproportionately high compared to the national average. Studies done by the JHEOA (Department of Orang Asli Affairs) show that the dropout rate among Orang Asli schoolchildren is much higher than the national average. School dropout among the school children of Orang Asli are increase every year as can be shown their participation in secondary and high education level is decrease. 

For every 100 Orang Asli children entering Standard 1, only 6 will be expected to continue their studies up to Form 5. This equates to a 94% dropout rate. 

SUKA Society Charity Climb 2018:

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4 Objectives:

  • Challenge yourself to conquer the Mount Kinabalu summit and achieve your fundraising target for education
  • Inspire others by sharing your fundraising and hiking journey
  • Empower Orang Asli communities to push for education within rural villages in Malaysia
  • Connect and meet like-minded people during this charity climb campaign

Persatuan Kebajikan Suara Kanak-Kanak Malaysia (SUKA): 

SUKA is set up to protect and to preserve the best interests of children. •Creating greater access to education for Orang Asli children by setting up community pre-schools in remote villages. we firmly believe that all children must be empowered to develop to their best potential. As such, SUKA constantly growing our community-based empowerment programs for Orang Asli children to gain greater access to education. Their pre-schools have been running since 2014.

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Empowered 2 Teach is a SUKA Society initiated project that provides training, support and resources for the indigenous communities living in remote areas to start their own pre-school education classes within their own villages. raising funds to help engage a teacher, an assistant and support the monthly school expenses for three of our pre-schools. The funds raised will also engage SUKA’s on-the-job trainer who provides training for all our schools. We are also looking to secure sponsorships to help 60 Orang Asli children attend school for a year. Below are the three Orang Asli communities where the proceeds will be channeled to: Kelas Komuniti Kampung Jader is located in Gua Musang, Kelantan.; Kelas Komuniti Kampung Sungai Poh is located in Gopeng, Perak.; Kelas Komuniti Pendidikan Awal Kampung Sungai Malela is situated in Gerik, Perak.

Each climber will pledge and try their outmost best to raise a total target of RM2500 for this climb online through our simply giving fundraising page and RM2520.00 via securing sponsors for 3 Orang Asli students. This is my page: https://www.simplygiving.com/suka-chari…

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Find out more by visiting SUKA Society’s website at http://www.sukasociety.org/charity-climb-2018/.

Have a good week!

 

Love, 

VicQi 

 

 

More Self Love

 

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“Self-love is not selfish; you cannot truly love another until you know how to love yourself.”

 

It is 520 today, 20th of May, where for Chinese we would translate it to “I love You” (我爱你). Many would celebrate the day with loved ones secondary to valentines’ day. I would love to dedicate this post to everyone, about giving more self love and at the same time more love to others too.

Self love is has a thin line with being self fish and a huge gap with being self less, which then could be hard for one to define. Self love is when one honour our needs before others, fill our own cup first before filling others’ cups. Simply put, when one love and accept oneself. 

I love and accept myself fully. 

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Simple practises of self love including give time for yourself, fill your needs, express your love to yourself and give the best to yourself.

Create self love ritual like

  • applying coconut oil to your skin before sleep,
  • eating only nourishing food to fuel your body,
  • having screen-off Sunday to focus on your relationships with your love ones,
  • walking in the nature to breath fresh air,
  • spending quality time to meditate,
  • taking time off to go for a vacation,
  • telling yourself what do you love about you,
  • having self love support group with self love practises weekly.

The list could go on. The first step is just to give ourself permission to love ourselves now. Then take baby step towards it.  You are destined to be successful.

The best reward after these practises, I noticed people around me started to do so too. Love it! That’s when we spread ripples of love to the world, starting from ourselves.

 

One grateful thoughts now: 

We are alive. Put that big smile on your face already. =)

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Self love. It doesn’t mean that everyone will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. It means that you won’t let them change the way you see yourself; nor will you stick around for them to destroy you. Tony A Gaskins Jr.

 


A BOOK TO READ

I read a book called “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Riuz, it is based on Toltec wisdom that has been passed on from thousands of years ago.

The Four Agreements:

  • The First Agreement: Be Impeccable with Your Word
  • The Second Agreement: Don’t Take Anything Personally
  • The Third Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions
  • The Fourth Agreement: Always Do Your Best

It has been my guide for 3 days, where I kept on reminding myself about the agreements. Get the book and practise the exercises given about recreating Book of Law, and the 4 agreements step by step. I just love it.

You may Read Brian Johnson’s notes here: https://experiencelife.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/28-the-four-agreements.pdf.


A VIDEO TO WATCH

Watch Teal Swan’s Self Love -The Great Shortcut to Enlightenment:

 

I love how Teal explain as every word would hit me to my core. High suggested to watch her video to find out if it helps you too. =)

But, we can always ask ourselves this question when we need to make a decision, as Teal Swan suggested,

“Ask what would someone who loved themselves do?”


 

Self-Love

Have a lovely week fill with love from within. =)

 

Infinite Love, 

Vic Qi

 

White Elephant – My Vision

My vision in 5 years is when you see White Elephant, you would feel calm instantly. 

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White Elephant Space

It is a symbol of calmness and self love where people would go to any space with White Elephant symbol when they need to feel calm and have some Me-Time. White Elephant Home Space is where people would create one corner for them to feel calm, it works for adult and children.

 

It is said that Silence and Time are the most precious asset nowadays.

 

Too often, when I was out of my home, at some point I would feel tired and has a strong urge to be in a calm and serene environment. But, out of despair, most of the environment, besides outdoor parks, I find it very draining, especially shopping malls during weekends. Imagine White Elephant Space is available in shopping malls, when one is tired, one could recharge with soothing tea and music.

 

What’s the difference with the tea shops that is available now?

White Elephant can be an individual space or in any tea or coffee shops, it is a concept with a calm ambiance which allow people to relax with optional tools to help in feeling calm and without digital devices. This space allow people to be in silence, rest mode with optional tools such as ear phones, books, soft pillows, art or writing tools, soothing tea and healthy snacks.

 

White Elephant is a concept with promised calm space without digital devices and other distractions.

Take A Break

Me-Time and Self Care are so underrated where we are hooked up in the busyness in life, dealing with digital matters and interpersonal relationship matters. Having such concept space which is easily accessible encourages us to recharge and reconnect with ourselves for a better focus and productivity.

Each of us has infinite possibilities to creation in life, we have own unique gifts and maximum potential, but, the distractions and noise which create gaps between where we are and where we want to be. White Elephant space is one way to reduce noise and distractions, take a break and connect to our highest self.

The intention is to invite a calm state of mind, to have a relax body, and an undivided time for oneself. This acts as an open door to self care techniques, healthy eating, body movement and self healing. Plus, it could be an income stream for some to create such space to benefit their neighbourhood and earning opportunities for many as calm guides.

 

Looking For First Movers

To any space owners of coffee shops or centres, I am looking forward to introduce this concept where we could have pop-up experiments for response and feedbacks. I am taking a step by step to make this happen, firstly, we start with pop up space and exploration around Asia to experiment this concept.

We are looking for First mover partners to create White Elephant space and there is a special name for this concept. I would love to hear your comments and just hook me up if you are interested in playing a part.

 

Upcoming White Elephant Journey

I am also creating a fundraising for White Elephant journey in creating pop up space plus exploration starting in Chiang Mai, Thailand in June. I am creating online content for pop up space and self care habits. Very much appreciate any amount of contribution via paypal.  Thank you.

May we do our best to be a better self collectively.

 

Infinite love,

Vic Qi  

 

 

3 Ways To Connect Deeper With Mum & Yourself

Hey gorgeous,

I would spend time with mum on eating, gardening, travelling and having day to day conversations. Yet, all the above activities are on the surface level, it is rare to talk about our inner emotions and conflicts especially when it is related to our parents.

Well, this might not the case for everyone, but I am speaking for those who felt the same in term of the desire to connect deeply with our parents. In Chinese proverbs, there is a saying, those who are close to us will understand us without expressing. Yes, and no.

There are a lot of emotions suppressed within each of us, since we were young, what parents said to us, what teachers taught us, what friends talk about us, what bosses and colleagues tells us, what our lover think about us, all these mold us into who we are. With every person emits different energy in different situation, who we think we are today are hugely told by others.

Maybe it is time for a heart-to-heart session with mum.


My Story

When I was young, I dislike some of my mum’s action, and when I did not receive certain attention, I would deem myself as unlovable daughter. When I receive the same nags again and again, I would deem it is my problem. When I receive not-so-good critics, I would deem something is wrong with me. When I made unreasonable request which upset mum, I would felt terribly guilty, especially when mum cried.

All these emotions are not taught to release but to suppress. And, often, I would blame my parents who did not provide what we wanted, I would blame parents for my weakness, I would give them hell days and we suffered together. I take my imperfection as parent’s wrongdoing, but today, I learn to own my responsibilities.

I started with forgiveness. I forgive mum and dad for all the not-so-good emotions, actions and words from them, I know that they have done their best at that time. Then, I forgive myself for causing all that problems, disappointments, arguments, and heartache to them, for that I know I did my best in controlling my own emotions.

Now, I love them more than ever and I learn to love myself more than ever too.

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❤ Mum, Me, Dad ❤

1st Way: Forgive Your Mum & Yourself

 

The-Art-of-Forgiveness

So the first way is forgiveness. Choose to accept what had happen, choose to forgive your parents, choose to forgive yourself back then. Because you deserve happiness. I understand there will be parents who are unloving to us since young, who have not been showing love to us, thus could lead us with certain anger issue, insecurity, and compulsive control issue.

“Those who hurt are usually hurting.”

Let go of the past resentments, let go of the mistakes both parties had. It is easier said than done because it is easier to blame one party for all the bad stuff. Trust me, when you own your responsibility 100% on what you can control, learn that when others’ give you (tantrum, critics etc) is out of your control, what you can control is to either ‘take it in and react’ or ‘don’t take it in and respond’.

What others’ are saying to you is their reflection on themselves, say some of our parents would critic us so bad, yes with good intention to improve but not in the right way. Often, we would feel so bad about ourselves as we listened to them and believed what they said about us is right. But, look at the parent’s side of reflection, they must have been treated the same way by their parents or caretakers. Notice that they must have been suffering too. This way of parenting has been passed on for years, without awareness of the impact of such behaviour, this will go on and on.

You have a choice.

When we are aware of this, first, accept the past, for what had happened, stop wishing for a better history. Then, heal yourself first. You may consider to do an Inner Child Healing Meditation where you revisit the past scene where it hurts you the most, be with your inner child, tell them you are there for them and you love them, all is well. Personally recommend to listen to this track from Jason Stephanson: Inner Child: Guided Meditation, Spoken word Meditation, Visualization, Healing Relaxation for peace.

Mum, dad, me and you, we are all humans, we have good and bad. We are doing our best with what we know at every moment. Acknowledge that our parents have done their best with what they know at that time, choose to forgive them and yourself, even when they are not here anymore.

There are many ways in releasing these emotions, you may write it all down with no filter and throw it away. Or you may talk to a tree about all your emotions and let it go to the earth. Choose a way to let it out, you may find your anger issue is soften.

Let it all go.

 

2nd Way: Be Grateful & Let Your Mum Know

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I think the first thing that I am grateful to mum is that mum and dad brought me here, to this beautiful Earth and have siblings to grow up with in a warm home in countryside. Too often, we forgot that being born + being alive are the best thing to be grateful for. To be able to experience life in so many ways, interact with beautiful people, and be who we are today.

Expressing gratefulness daily is the key to happiness. One way to connect deeper to mum would be telling her how lucky you are to be here, how thankful you are to have her, how great she is. This would totally melt her heart. Best way is by writing down which she is able to keep it for future reading, serve as a reminder for her to know that she has someone who appreciate her for who is is and what she has done.

Besides making her feel good, it would definitely be one of your reminder to appreciate her more. Double triple the love effect, we have, creating ripples of love. Why not?

Now, pick up a pen (or type it to her) and let your mum know, because she deserves it.

 

3rd Way: Invite Mum to Self Love & Self Acceptance

When do mum make time for herself?

I noticed most of the mums gave their 101% to their children, to her family, she would eat the remaining food scrubs, she would take care of herself the least and repeat the same condition every day, maybe stop when one retires. That would be my mum, until recently she knows how to take care of herself first. I am so grateful for that.

Because most of us have not been brought up to recognise the power and importance of self-love, even less so when we become parents. Self-love can be physical, mental, spiritual, and psychological.

For mum who did not practise self love is the one who needed to recharge quite often because one would overwork oneself, and might have higher health risk, thus in the end, one does not do good to any parties involved.

So, let’s start by loving ourselves and invite our mum to love and accept themselves for who they are. Acknowledge her inner beauty and outer beauty.

Fill our cup first, what’s overflowing is for others.

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Start to honour our own needs, in this case, mum’s needs, start a yoga practise every morning, take time off for grooming, travel whichever site one favours. It is a daily practise where mum start to honour their needs first, enough of ‘sacrificing willingly for the sake of family’, if mum don’t feel like cooking, it’s fine, just eat in a restaurant.

There are so many ways like say ‘no’ when you don’t feel like it, get enough sleep, express your needs, request help from children, accept money and gifts from children, treat your body well by eating right and exercising and take time off for yourself without feeling guilty.

There is a thin line between self full and self fish. It is time for lot’s of self love to all mums out there.

These are my messages to my mum too.


To My loved ones:

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Mum and I

Mummy, you are so beautiful as you are, from within to outside, you are so unique you know, with all your effort and love, so in love with the your childish actions. You are our light in the house. Mum, I know you have done your best every single time, thank you so much for so many years of selfless hard work for this family, it’s time to let go of this family’s responsibility, worry less of your children, and do what you love. I love you for who you are, forever. Keep that laughs and shines. – Your Daughter

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Mum2 and I

As for my another mum, thank you for all your effort and hardwork in raising 3 children by yourself, you have given all you had back then to make sure all your babies are well taken care of even until now. Taken up so much on your shoulder, still working very hard to give what you can to your children, I am so touched. Every single wrinkles and white hairs has it story behind. You are such a brave and independent mum. I love you and thank you for taking care of me like your daughter. – Your half daughter.


 

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As I have written this, I felt closer to my mum by removing the invisible threads I was still holding on too. May you connect deeper with your mum and dad, may this be a beautiful beginning for you and your beloved mum.

 

Infinite love & blessings, 

Vic Qi

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

10 Healthier Gifts for Mum

Hello Beautiful,

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It’s Mothers’ Day month in May and we are celebrating and honouring our mothers (maybe yourself too) on the 13th of May.

Well, it is said to treat every day as Mothers’ Day but we could refresh on this Sunday as the beginning to love and appreciate our beloved mum.

This is a place where I wanted to share on our we can be with, do something, and give our mum on this special month. Besides the normal norm of eating something special or special outing, I would recommend a healthier option for our dear mum.

And, also serve as my personal wish to my love of my life – mum. #MumLove Or, for mums, this is a selection of gift you could get to honour yourself. #SelfLove

 


Let’s talk about Gifts, what’s for mum? There are lots of option to choose out there, considering healthier options for healthier mum, we have 10 yummy ideas about the gift.

 

1. Give a Flower-In-A-Pot

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My mum’s pink roses in a pot

I love roses or any fresh flowers on a beautiful bouquet too, but, thinking of long term solution, for the sake of mum’s eyes and long term appreciation, giving mum roses in a pot is a better choice. There is a quote saying, if you love the flower, don’t pluck it, let it grow beautifully. One way to appreciate the nature with mum.

My mum got one pot of beautiful pink roses at Sungai Buloh one week before, I am super glad to see her smileys and her heart to take good care of the flowers. She is a fan of gardening.

If space is a concern, having this small pot on the table in the house would be beautiful as it would bring a nature vibe to the house.

Pick a flower pot best suited your mum.

Where can you get one: Any plant nurseries; My parents’ favourite: Top 10 Gardening Centres in Sungai Buloh, Selangor

2. Give a Seed of Plants or An Edible Plant

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Mum’s Little Plants

Yep, an edible plant or the seed of it. It’s great for mum who loves to see things grow and it’s a super healthy option where mum could pluck the leaves to cook. Either it is for you or for mum, it is going to be a beautiful process to witness the growth of the seed, just like how mum took care of us since baby. This process serves as a memory for mum and us to own something together, one more topic for discussion like “how’s the Aloe vera doing?”

My mum started to plant a lot of edible vegetables and fruits in her garden, and when she feel like eating one, she would just pluck it and we all enjoy the benefit of the fresh organic vegetables.

If time is constrain to take care of one, pick one which can grow up without much care yet still able to enjoy it’s greeneries. One may consider to talk to the plant, it helps for a person and also to the plant.

Get a seed of edible plant.

Where can you get one: Any plant nurseries; Eat the plant, plant the trees; Get seed from Eats, Shoots & Roots

 

3. Give an Extra Virgin Unrefined Coconut Oil

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I have been a fan of coconut oil for about 8 months now, there are bountiful benefits of it whether it’s intake or to apply on our body.

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3.1 Uses on the body:

  • Skin Moisturiser: When we apply coconut oil on our skin, it is like a natural moisturiser. Its natural antioxidant properties make it great for stopping wrinkles and skin irritation. I apply on my legs and arms+hands+ lips daily before sleep.
  • Natural Makeup Remover: Just a small dab of coconut oil will quickly liquefy eye makeup, making it easy to wipe off. Coconut oil will not sting or irritate eyes, and as a bonus, will help to hydrate around the eyes.
  • Lip Balm: Coconut oil helps to nourish the lips, provides a touch of sun protection, and most importantly, is safe to consume.
  • Natural Hair Conditioner: Using coconut oil for hair conditioning has been used for thousands of years to strengthen and style hair. As a moisturizer, coconut oil can help strengthen hair while helping hair to retain moisture. Depending on the length and texture of your hair, you may need anywhere from 1 teaspoon to 2 tablespoons of coconut oil as a conditioner. Warm in the palms of your hands, and starting at the ends, work the oil into the hair.
  • Oil Pulling Method: In the morning like mouthwash, which can kill some of the harmful bacteria in the mouth, improve dental health and reduce bad breath. Swish 1 tablespoon of coconut oil immediately after rising in the morning. Spend 10-20 minutes swishing; do not swallow the oil. Spit the oil into the trashcan (not into the sink!) and rinse with sea salt water.

3.2 Uses in the body:

It is recommended to take at least a tablespoon of coconut oil daily. Coconut oil is high in healthy saturated fats that have different effects than most other fats in your diet. Listed down 3 health benefits.

  • Increase Fat Burning: These fats can boost fat burning and provide your body and brain with quick energy. The medium chain triglycerides in coconut oil have been shown to increase calories burned over 24 hours by as much as 5%.
  • Reduce Health Risk: Coconut oil contains natural saturated fats that increase the good HDL cholesterol in your body. They may also help turn the bad LDL cholesterol into a less harmful form which is linked to reduced heart disease risk.
  • Digestive Help: Coconut oil’s concentration of beneficial fats in coconut oil makes it helpful for digestion. Its antimicrobial properties can help fight irritation and infection in the gut from Candida.

3.3 Use for cooking:

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Credit Dr. Axe
  • Great fat for cooking: Coconut oil is a stable oil that doesn’t break down easily at high temperatures like other oils do. It doesn’t go rancid easily and has amazing nutritional properties. It is great for stir fries, grain free baked goods, and practically any other cooking use.

These information above are collected from three links below, kindly read for more:

Grab an Extra Virgin Unrefined Coconut oil.

Where can you get one: Any supermarket.

 

4. Give an Extra Virgin Olive Oil

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Besides coconut oil, Olive oil has what it takes as a gift to mum, it is naturally high in healthy fatty acids.  Other than cooking, we have tons of good reason to consume and use olive oil. It’s a staple of the Mediterranean Diet and has been included in the diets of some of the world’s healthiest, longest-living people for centuries.

  • Protects Heart Health: Thanks to powerful antioxidants known as polyphenols, extra virgin oil is considered an anti-inflammatory food and cardiovascular protector.
  • Helps Fight Cancer: They are some of the best high antioxidant foods.
  • Supports Brain Health: Olive oil is considered a brain food that improves focus and memory. It helps fight age-related cognitive decline because it protects against inflammation, oxidative stress and ADDLs, proteins that are toxic to the brain that can trigger dementia or Alzheimer’s disease.

Extracted the benefits from Dr. Axe’s website, kindly read here for more good reasons: https://draxe.com/olive-oil-benefits/

Where can you get it: Any supermarket, any Speedmart.

Get an Extra Virgin Olive Oil.

Where can you get one: Any supermarket.

5. Give an Apple Cider Vinegar

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Apple cider vinegar is a plus point to be in mum’s kitchen.

This is actually made from apple cider that has been fermented by yeast and bacteria, which turns the sugars into alcohol. It then undergoes a second fermentation process in which the alcohol is converted into acetic acid.

This fermentation process accounts for the many health benefits of apple cider vinegar and is the reason why apple cider vinegar is able to lower cholesterol, keep blood sugar levels stable and relieve acid reflux. I personally use it to boost gut health and improve skin health by consuming one tablespoon and apply on face daily.

It is said to best pick labels with organic, raw and unfiltered apple cider vinegar.

Extracted the benefits from Dr. Axe’s website, kindly read here for 20 benefits: https://draxe.com/apple-cider-vinegar-uses/

Get an Apple Cider Vinegar.

Where can get one: Any supermarket, any Speedmart.

 

6. Make a Homemade Card

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I believe when we were young, homemade card is like selling hot cakes where everyone would make one for our mum, be it simple or artistic. We would write our grateful hearts, drawing family stick figures with house and mountains and for sure with lots of heart shape.

What about now? Sometimes, we would buy ready greeting cards, yes, it might be more presentable. But, creating from nothing to something and with one designer plus writer, this is what we called one-and-only. This year, let’s dig out papers, colour pens, or drawing tools to create this precious card. If time is constraint, a descent paper is the easiest way to start.

All I wanted to point out is, now or never. It’s time to express your creativity.

Some of the guidance to start of:

Get a paper and pen.

 

7. Write a Handwritten Letter

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This is rather an easy start, but for some it might take some time to pour your heartfelt words to mum. I have a practise of writing diary so writing has been a thing for me, I love to express through writing, plus it jots down feelings at this time.

I would recommend you to write something you like about your mum, you wish your mum to know about her uniqueness, grateful thought to her like I am thankful for my mum who spent so much time on sending me to tuition and waited for it to end in the car, it was a tiring period for her. There are so  much to be acknowledge, recognise and appreciate about mum’s every effort and love.

Make sure you write it down as if it’s our last day. Maybe one day, when mum feel sad, she could refer to these words, these will make up mum’s day.

Pick up that pen.

 

8. Cook a Plant-based Food or Dessert for Mum 

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Mum have been spending many hours in the kitchen preparing yummylicious food for us, for years. Mum after mum, generation passed and probably you are becoming mum too. I deem one way to appreciate her is to introduce her a healthier option – plant based food or dessert.

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With lesser intake of meat, but more variety of plants, it’s a step-by-step way of living. Very good for elderly and soon-to-be mum, in fact everyone. Plant-based foods contain all the essential nutrients (with the exception of vitamin B12) we need.

I am super thankful that my parents have reduce their meat and milk intake as after their own experiment with meat and without meat, they know how their body react, thus the decision. I made plant based pizza (no cheese & meat) and vegan brownies (no milk) for my parents, it’s weird for them but acceptable. Still, there are many yummy delicious plant-based food to taste.

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Get your apron ready. 

Or bring your mum to try out some yummy plant based food at KL:

 

Things to Do With Mum This Sunday

9. Give Mum A Sound Therapy with Family

Looking for something peaceful and relaxing? I know a good one and I have experience this before. It is also known as sound healing can improve many facets of your life, including emotional and social development, cognitive and motor functioning. It can create a calming effect that quiets outside noise and allows the mind to flourish.

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If my mum is in KL, I would bring her here.

Relax with mum.

Where can you experience it: At The Violet Flame Bangsar, KL: Mother’s day special gift- Sound Therapy With Family here. Special Mother’s Day (13th May) Special Sound Meditation: GROUP session here: https://www.facebook.com/events/240243170051015/ (6 pm or 8 pm session. RM53 per pax only. RSVP via WHATSAPP or SMS or call: +60129868346.)

 

10. Take a Walk In The Nature

This is a great time to reconnect with nature, for mums who have been staying in the office or house most of the time, taking a walk in gardens or nature would help us all to refresh our body and mind.

Less Stress, Gorgeous Skin, and a Whole New You. All for a better self esteem.

There are two favourite places of mine – Perdana Botanical Garden and FRIM Kepong.

 

  • FRIM Kepong:

    • frim-picnic-area
    • How to Go There: FRIM is located along the Selayang-Kepong Highway. You can take the KTM Komuter train from the Kuala Lumpur Railway station or any KTM Komuter station that is in the vicinity and head for Kepong station. Once you reach Kepong station, alight from the train and take a taxi to FRIM.

 Walk with mum.

10+1 Extra Gift: Combination of Fruits to Mummy

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Picture credit JustJuice.org

Check out some of the fruits combination that work best to detox and clear the body. Read more here: What Fruit Combinations Work Best for the Body?

  • Apple, Avocado and Banana
    • Apples protect you from asthma and diabetes. They contain flavonoids and pectin that helps to cleanse your liver. Avocados are rich in fiber. They also contain healthy monounsaturated fats that eliminate cholesterol. Substitute margarine or butter with avocado in your sandwich to lower your daily caloric intake. Their high fat content helps babies to grow normally. Bananas are rich sources of folic acid and potassium, a mineral that you dissipate while exercising. A medium banana contains high levels of vitamin B6, 3 grams of fiber and 105 calories. In addition to improving your immunity, they regulate your blood pressure.

Make a Detox drink for mum.


Here you go, these are the healthier option list of gifts to consider, some are easy and quick to get, some require heart-work to make one. May you have a beautiful celebration with your one and only mum.

I love you mum.

Much love & light, 

Vic Qi