“Self-love is not selfish; you cannot truly love another until you know how to love yourself.”
It is 520 today, 20th of May, where for Chinese we would translate it to “I love You” （我爱你）. Many would celebrate the day with loved ones secondary to valentines’ day. I would love to dedicate this post to everyone, about giving more self love and at the same time more love to others too.
Self love is has a thin line with being self fish and a huge gap with being self less, which then could be hard for one to define. Self love is when one honour our needs before others, fill our own cup first before filling others’ cups. Simply put, when one love and accept oneself.
I love and accept myself fully.
Simple practises of self love including give time for yourself, fill your needs, express your love to yourself and give the best to yourself.
Create self love ritual like
applying coconut oil to your skin before sleep,
eating only nourishing food to fuel your body,
having screen-off Sunday to focus on your relationships with your love ones,
walking in the nature to breath fresh air,
spending quality time to meditate,
taking time off to go for a vacation,
telling yourself what do you love about you,
having self love support group with self love practises weekly.
The list could go on. The first step is just to give ourself permission to love ourselves now. Then take baby step towards it. You are destined to be successful.
The best reward after these practises, I noticed people around me started to do so too. Love it! That’s when we spread ripples of love to the world, starting from ourselves.
One grateful thoughts now:
We are alive. Put that big smile on your face already. =)
Self love. It doesn’t mean that everyone will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. It means that you won’t let them change the way you see yourself; nor will you stick around for them to destroy you. Tony A Gaskins Jr.
A BOOK TO READ
I read a book called “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Riuz, it is based on Toltec wisdom that has been passed on from thousands of years ago.
The Four Agreements:
The First Agreement: Be Impeccable with Your Word
The Second Agreement: Don’t Take Anything Personally
The Third Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions
The Fourth Agreement: Always Do Your Best
It has been my guide for 3 days, where I kept on reminding myself about the agreements. Get the book and practise the exercises given about recreating Book of Law, and the 4 agreements step by step. I just love it.
My vision in 5 years is when you see White Elephant, you would feel calm instantly.
White Elephant Space
It is a symbol of calmness and self love where people would go to any space with White Elephant symbol when they need to feel calm and have some Me-Time. White Elephant Home Space is where people would create one corner for them to feel calm, it works for adult and children.
It is said that Silence and Time are the most precious asset nowadays.
Too often, when I was out of my home, at some point I would feel tired and has a strong urge to be in a calm and serene environment. But, out of despair, most of the environment, besides outdoor parks, I find it very draining, especially shopping malls during weekends. Imagine White Elephant Space is available in shopping malls, when one is tired, one could recharge with soothing tea and music.
What’s the difference with the tea shops that is available now?
White Elephant can be an individual space or in any tea or coffee shops, it is a concept with a calm ambiance which allow people to relax with optional tools to help in feeling calm and without digital devices. This space allow people to be in silence, rest mode with optional tools such as ear phones, books, soft pillows, art or writing tools, soothing tea and healthy snacks.
White Elephant is a concept with promised calm space without digital devices and other distractions.
Take A Break
Me-Time and Self Care are so underrated where we are hooked up in the busyness in life, dealing with digital matters and interpersonal relationship matters. Having such concept space which is easily accessible encourages us to recharge and reconnect with ourselves for a better focus and productivity.
Each of us has infinite possibilities to creation in life, we have own unique gifts and maximum potential, but, the distractions and noise which create gaps between where we are and where we want to be. White Elephant space is one way to reduce noise and distractions, take a break and connect to our highest self.
The intention is to invite a calm state of mind, to have a relax body, and an undivided time for oneself. This acts as an open door to self care techniques, healthy eating, body movement and self healing. Plus, it could be an income stream for some to create such space to benefit their neighbourhood and earning opportunities for many as calm guides.
Looking For First Movers
To any space owners of coffee shops or centres, I am looking forward to introduce this concept where we could have pop-up experiments for response and feedbacks. I am taking a step by step to make this happen, firstly, we start with pop up space and exploration around Asia to experiment this concept.
We are looking for First mover partners to create White Elephant space and there is a special name for this concept. I would love to hear your comments and just hook me up if you are interested in playing a part.
Upcoming White Elephant Journey
I am also creating a fundraising for White Elephant journey in creating pop up space plus exploration starting in Chiang Mai, Thailand in June. I am creating online content for pop up space and self care habits. Very much appreciate any amount of contribution via paypal. Thank you.
May we do our best to be a better self collectively.
I would spend time with mum on eating, gardening, travelling and having day to day conversations. Yet, all the above activities are on the surface level, it is rare to talk about our inner emotions and conflicts especially when it is related to our parents.
Well, this might not the case for everyone, but I am speaking for those who felt the same in term of the desire to connect deeply with our parents. In Chinese proverbs, there is a saying, those who are close to us will understand us without expressing. Yes, and no.
There are a lot of emotions suppressed within each of us, since we were young, what parents said to us, what teachers taught us, what friends talk about us, what bosses and colleagues tells us, what our lover think about us, all these mold us into who we are. With every person emits different energy in different situation, who we think we are today are hugely told by others.
Maybe it is time for a heart-to-heart session with mum.
When I was young, I dislike some of my mum’s action, and when I did not receive certain attention, I would deem myself as unlovable daughter. When I receive the same nags again and again, I would deem it is my problem. When I receive not-so-good critics, I would deem something is wrong with me. When I made unreasonable request which upset mum, I would felt terribly guilty, especially when mum cried.
All these emotions are not taught to release but to suppress. And, often, I would blame my parents who did not provide what we wanted, I would blame parents for my weakness, I would give them hell days and we suffered together. I take my imperfection as parent’s wrongdoing, but today, I learn to own my responsibilities.
I started with forgiveness. I forgive mum and dad for all the not-so-good emotions, actions and words from them, I know that they have done their best at that time. Then, I forgive myself for causing all that problems, disappointments, arguments, and heartache to them, for that I know I did my best in controlling my own emotions.
Now, I love them more than ever and I learn to love myself more than ever too.
1st Way: Forgive Your Mum & Yourself
So the first way is forgiveness. Choose to accept what had happen, choose to forgive your parents, choose to forgive yourself back then. Because you deserve happiness. I understand there will be parents who are unloving to us since young, who have not been showing love to us, thus could lead us with certain anger issue, insecurity, and compulsive control issue.
“Those who hurt are usually hurting.”
Let go of the past resentments, let go of the mistakes both parties had. It is easier said than done because it is easier to blame one party for all the bad stuff. Trust me, when you own your responsibility 100% on what you can control, learn that when others’ give you (tantrum, critics etc) is out of your control, what you can control is to either ‘take it in and react’ or ‘don’t take it in and respond’.
What others’ are saying to you is their reflection on themselves, say some of our parents would critic us so bad, yes with good intention to improve but not in the right way. Often, we would feel so bad about ourselves as we listened to them and believed what they said about us is right. But, look at the parent’s side of reflection, they must have been treated the same way by their parents or caretakers. Notice that they must have been suffering too. This way of parenting has been passed on for years, without awareness of the impact of such behaviour, this will go on and on.
You have a choice.
When we are aware of this, first, accept the past, for what had happened, stop wishing for a better history. Then, heal yourself first. You may consider to do an Inner Child Healing Meditation where you revisit the past scene where it hurts you the most, be with your inner child, tell them you are there for them and you love them, all is well. Personally recommend to listen to this track from Jason Stephanson: Inner Child: Guided Meditation, Spoken word Meditation, Visualization, Healing Relaxation for peace.
Mum, dad, me and you, we are all humans, we have good and bad. We are doing our best with what we know at every moment. Acknowledge that our parents have done their best with what they know at that time, choose to forgive them and yourself, even when they are not here anymore.
There are many ways in releasing these emotions, you may write it all down with no filter and throw it away. Or you may talk to a tree about all your emotions and let it go to the earth. Choose a way to let it out, you may find your anger issue is soften.
Let it all go.
2nd Way: Be Grateful & Let Your Mum Know
I think the first thing that I am grateful to mum is that mum and dad brought me here, to this beautiful Earth and have siblings to grow up with in a warm home in countryside. Too often, we forgot that being born + being alive are the best thing to be grateful for. To be able to experience life in so many ways, interact with beautiful people, and be who we are today.
Expressing gratefulness daily is the key to happiness. One way to connect deeper to mum would be telling her how lucky you are to be here, how thankful you are to have her, how great she is. This would totally melt her heart. Best way is by writing down which she is able to keep it for future reading, serve as a reminder for her to know that she has someone who appreciate her for who is is and what she has done.
Besides making her feel good, it would definitely be one of your reminder to appreciate her more. Double triple the love effect, we have, creating ripples of love. Why not?
Now, pick up a pen (or type it to her) and let your mum know, because she deserves it.
3rd Way: Invite Mum to Self Love & Self Acceptance
When do mum make time for herself?
I noticed most of the mums gave their 101% to their children, to her family, she would eat the remaining food scrubs, she would take care of herself the least and repeat the same condition every day, maybe stop when one retires. That would be my mum, until recently she knows how to take care of herself first. I am so grateful for that.
Because most of us have not been brought up to recognise the power and importance of self-love, even less so when we become parents. Self-love can be physical, mental, spiritual, and psychological.
For mum who did not practise self love is the one who needed to recharge quite often because one would overwork oneself, and might have higher health risk, thus in the end, one does not do good to any parties involved.
So, let’s start by loving ourselves and invite our mum to love and accept themselves for who they are. Acknowledge her inner beauty and outer beauty.
Fill our cup first, what’s overflowing is for others.
Start to honour our own needs, in this case, mum’s needs, start a yoga practise every morning, take time off for grooming, travel whichever site one favours. It is a daily practise where mum start to honour their needs first, enough of ‘sacrificing willingly for the sake of family’, if mum don’t feel like cooking, it’s fine, just eat in a restaurant.
There are so many ways like say ‘no’ when you don’t feel like it, get enough sleep, express your needs, request help from children, accept money and gifts from children, treat your body well by eating right and exercising and take time off for yourself without feeling guilty.
There is a thin line between self full and self fish. It is time for lot’s of self love to all mums out there.
These are my messages to my mum too.
To My loved ones:
Mummy, you are so beautiful as you are, from within to outside, you are so unique you know, with all your effort and love, so in love with the your childish actions. You are our light in the house. Mum, I know you have done your best every single time, thank you so much for so many years of selfless hard work for this family, it’s time to let go of this family’s responsibility, worry less of your children, and do what you love. I love you for who you are, forever. Keep that laughs and shines. – Your Daughter
As for my another mum, thank you for all your effort and hardwork in raising 3 children by yourself, you have given all you had back then to make sure all your babies are well taken care of even until now. Taken up so much on your shoulder, still working very hard to give what you can to your children, I am so touched. Every single wrinkles and white hairs has it story behind. You are such a brave and independent mum. I love you and thank you for taking care of me like your daughter. – Your half daughter.
As I have written this, I felt closer to my mum by removing the invisible threads I was still holding on too. May you connect deeper with your mum and dad, may this be a beautiful beginning for you and your beloved mum.
It’s Mothers’ Day month in May and we are celebrating and honouring our mothers (maybe yourself too) on the 13th of May.
Well, it is said to treat every day as Mothers’ Day but we could refresh on this Sunday as the beginning to love and appreciate our beloved mum.
This is a place where I wanted to share on our we can be with, do something, and give our mum on this special month. Besides the normal norm of eating something special or special outing, I would recommend a healthier option for our dear mum.
And, also serve as my personal wish to my love of my life – mum. #MumLove Or, for mums, this is a selection of gift you could get to honour yourself. #SelfLove
Let’s talk about Gifts, what’s for mum? There are lots of option to choose out there, considering healthier options for healthier mum, we have 10 yummy ideas about the gift.
1. Give a Flower-In-A-Pot
I love roses or any fresh flowers on a beautiful bouquet too, but, thinking of long term solution, for the sake of mum’s eyes and long term appreciation, giving mum roses in a pot is a better choice. There is a quote saying, if you love the flower, don’t pluck it, let it grow beautifully. One way to appreciate the nature with mum.
My mum got one pot of beautiful pink roses at Sungai Buloh one week before, I am super glad to see her smileys and her heart to take good care of the flowers. She is a fan of gardening.
If space is a concern, having this small pot on the table in the house would be beautiful as it would bring a nature vibe to the house.
Yep, an edible plant or the seed of it. It’s great for mum who loves to see things grow and it’s a super healthy option where mum could pluck the leaves to cook. Either it is for you or for mum, it is going to be a beautiful process to witness the growth of the seed, just like how mum took care of us since baby. This process serves as a memory for mum and us to own something together, one more topic for discussion like “how’s the Aloe vera doing?”
My mum started to plant a lot of edible vegetables and fruits in her garden, and when she feel like eating one, she would just pluck it and we all enjoy the benefit of the fresh organic vegetables.
If time is constrain to take care of one, pick one which can grow up without much care yet still able to enjoy it’s greeneries. One may consider to talk to the plant, it helps for a person and also to the plant.
Get a seed of edible plant.
Where can you get one: Any plant nurseries; Eat the plant, plant the trees; Get seed from Eats, Shoots & Roots.
3. Give an Extra Virgin Unrefined Coconut Oil
I have been a fan of coconut oil for about 8 months now, there are bountiful benefits of it whether it’s intake or to apply on our body.
3.1 Uses on the body:
Skin Moisturiser: When we apply coconut oil on our skin, it is like a natural moisturiser. Its natural antioxidant properties make it great for stopping wrinkles and skin irritation. I apply on my legs and arms+hands+ lips daily before sleep.
Natural Makeup Remover: Just a small dab of coconut oil will quickly liquefy eye makeup, making it easy to wipe off. Coconut oil will not sting or irritate eyes, and as a bonus, will help to hydrate around the eyes.
Lip Balm: Coconut oil helps to nourish the lips, provides a touch of sun protection, and most importantly, is safe to consume.
Natural Hair Conditioner: Using coconut oil for hair conditioning has been used for thousands of years to strengthen and style hair. As a moisturizer, coconut oil can help strengthen hair while helping hair to retain moisture. Depending on the length and texture of your hair, you may need anywhere from 1 teaspoon to 2 tablespoons of coconut oil as a conditioner. Warm in the palms of your hands, and starting at the ends, work the oil into the hair.
Oil Pulling Method: In the morning like mouthwash, which can kill some of the harmful bacteria in the mouth, improve dental health and reduce bad breath. Swish 1 tablespoon of coconut oil immediately after rising in the morning. Spend 10-20 minutes swishing; do not swallow the oil. Spit the oil into the trashcan (not into the sink!) and rinse with sea salt water.
3.2 Uses in the body:
It is recommended to take at least a tablespoon of coconut oil daily. Coconut oil is high in healthy saturated fats that have different effects than most other fats in your diet. Listed down 3 health benefits.
Increase Fat Burning: These fats can boost fat burning and provide your body and brain with quick energy. The medium chain triglycerides in coconut oil have been shown to increase calories burned over 24 hours by as much as 5%.
Reduce Health Risk: Coconut oil contains natural saturated fats that increase the good HDL cholesterol in your body. They may also help turn the bad LDL cholesterol into a less harmful form which is linked to reduced heart disease risk.
Digestive Help: Coconut oil’s concentration of beneficial fats in coconut oil makes it helpful for digestion. Its antimicrobial properties can help fight irritation and infection in the gut from Candida.
3.3 Use for cooking:
Great fat for cooking: Coconut oil is a stable oil that doesn’t break down easily at high temperatures like other oils do. It doesn’t go rancid easily and has amazing nutritional properties. It is great for stir fries, grain free baked goods, and practically any other cooking use.
These information above are collected from three links below, kindly read for more:
Besides coconut oil, Olive oil has what it takes as a gift to mum, it is naturally high in healthy fatty acids. Other than cooking, we have tons of good reason to consume and use olive oil. It’s a staple of the Mediterranean Diet and has been included in the diets of some of the world’s healthiest, longest-living people for centuries.
Protects Heart Health: Thanks to powerful antioxidants known as polyphenols, extra virgin oil is considered an anti-inflammatory food and cardiovascular protector.
Helps Fight Cancer: They are some of the best high antioxidant foods.
Supports Brain Health: Olive oil is considered a brain food that improves focus and memory. It helps fight age-related cognitive decline because it protects against inflammation, oxidative stress and ADDLs, proteins that are toxic to the brain that can trigger dementia or Alzheimer’s disease.
Where can you get it: Any supermarket, any Speedmart.
Get an Extra Virgin Olive Oil.
Where can you get one: Any supermarket.
5. Give an Apple Cider Vinegar
Apple cider vinegar is a plus point to be in mum’s kitchen.
This is actually made from apple cider that has been fermented by yeast and bacteria, which turns the sugars into alcohol. It then undergoes a second fermentation process in which the alcohol is converted into acetic acid.
This fermentation process accounts for the many health benefits of apple cider vinegar and is the reason why apple cider vinegar is able to lower cholesterol, keep blood sugar levels stable and relieve acid reflux. I personally use it to boost gut health and improve skin health by consuming one tablespoon and apply on face daily.
It is said to best pick labels with organic, raw andunfiltered apple cider vinegar.
Where can get one: Any supermarket, any Speedmart.
6. Make a Homemade Card
I believe when we were young, homemade card is like selling hot cakes where everyone would make one for our mum, be it simple or artistic. We would write our grateful hearts, drawing family stick figures with house and mountains and for sure with lots of heart shape.
What about now? Sometimes, we would buy ready greeting cards, yes, it might be more presentable. But, creating from nothing to something and with one designer plus writer, this is what we called one-and-only. This year, let’s dig out papers, colour pens, or drawing tools to create this precious card. If time is constraint, a descent paper is the easiest way to start.
All I wanted to point out is, now or never. It’s time to express your creativity.
This is rather an easy start, but for some it might take some time to pour your heartfelt words to mum. I have a practise of writing diary so writing has been a thing for me, I love to express through writing, plus it jots down feelings at this time.
I would recommend you to write something you like about your mum, you wish your mum to know about her uniqueness, grateful thought to her like I am thankful for my mum who spent so much time on sending me to tuition and waited for it to end in the car, it was a tiring period for her. There are so much to be acknowledge, recognise and appreciate about mum’s every effort and love.
Make sure you write it down as if it’s our last day. Maybe one day, when mum feel sad, she could refer to these words, these will make up mum’s day.
Mum have been spending many hours in the kitchen preparing yummylicious food for us, for years. Mum after mum, generation passed and probably you are becoming mum too. I deem one way to appreciate her is to introduce her a healthier option – plant based food or dessert.
With lesser intake of meat, but more variety of plants, it’s a step-by-step way of living. Very good for elderly and soon-to-be mum, in fact everyone. Plant-based foods contain allthe essential nutrients (with the exception of vitamin B12) we need.
I am super thankful that my parents have reduce their meat and milk intake as after their own experiment with meat and without meat, they know how their body react, thus the decision. I made plant based pizza (no cheese & meat) and vegan brownies (no milk) for my parents, it’s weird for them but acceptable. Still, there are many yummy delicious plant-based food to taste.
Looking for something peaceful and relaxing? I know a good one and I have experience this before. It is also known as sound healing can improve many facets of your life, including emotional and social development, cognitive and motor functioning. It can create a calming effect that quiets outside noise and allows the mind to flourish.
This is a great time to reconnect with nature, for mums who have been staying in the office or house most of the time, taking a walk in gardens or nature would help us all to refresh our body and mind.
Less Stress, Gorgeous Skin, and a Whole New You. All for a better self esteem.
There are two favourite places of mine – Perdana Botanical Garden and FRIM Kepong.
How to Go There: FRIM is located along the Selayang-Kepong Highway. You can take the KTM Komuter train from the Kuala Lumpur Railway station or any KTM Komuter station that is in the vicinity and head for Kepong station. Once you reach Kepong station, alight from the train and take a taxi to FRIM.
Apples protect you from asthma and diabetes. They contain flavonoids and pectin that helps to cleanse your liver. Avocados are rich in fiber. They also contain healthy monounsaturated fats that eliminate cholesterol. Substitute margarine or butter with avocado in your sandwich to lower your daily caloric intake. Their high fat content helps babies to grow normally. Bananas are rich sources of folic acid and potassium, a mineral that you dissipate while exercising. A medium banana contains high levels of vitamin B6, 3 grams of fiber and 105 calories. In addition to improving your immunity, they regulate your blood pressure.
Make a Detox drink for mum.
Here you go, these are the healthier option list of gifts to consider, some are easy and quick to get, some require heart-work to make one. May you have a beautiful celebration with your one and only mum.
I have been learning to love and accept myself, the fact that I am an empath who are very sensitive to the energy around me, I tend to give more than what I can. I would put my self worth on others’ action, behaviour, words towards me, I would depend on others to feel love. That’s still a part of me.
What helps is after Vipassana meditation, I am able to heighten my self awareness when these negative self talk or self sabotage appears in the mind. I learned to transmute this energy with body scan, but often, I found that these emotions are still buried within the body. So, after some time, I would still feel tired with pain and aches on body parts.
Recently, I discovered that all this are due to my perspective (programming) in life. It all started with the mind, the thoughts we have, the beliefs we believed.
I feel stuck.
I knew that I am not moving anywhere but stuck with my own limiting thoughts, I figured I need to explore more new perspectives. I would learn, read, watch videos and articles and one day, I learn to read my own Birth Chart on Astrologies, but I need someone who is professional to read it for me, thus I began searching for one nearby which I can go to.
Healing yourself is connected to healing others. Yoko Ono
Instead, I found out about Ancestral Healing which heal back to our 7th ancestral lineage, it is said that we were inherited with the emotional, mental, and spiritual experiences of our ancestors, therefore accepting and honouring the past stories would help us to clear our family energies. I am so on for this, as I have been witnessing many repeated cycles of my family members emotionally, financially and health issue too.
Ancestral Healing can transform energetic patterns that are not in your highest good, or are preventing you from carrying out your soul’s mission and life’s purpose. If you are experiencing recurring patterns where things get in the way of feeling satisfied, enriched or successful, then ancestral Healing may be the missing link . Read more: http://www.acrossdimensions.com/ancestors.htm.
Akashic Records Reading
This is a great chance as I saw Heart Sanctuary is hosting Ancestral Healing facilitated by Ky’lama, what a timing. I went on to research more about this session and Ky’lama, I found out about Akashic Records Reading, which I have been hearing this name from Youtube. Now, the name attracted me and after finding out what it means, this blows me up.
Akashic Records also known as soul book is like a virtual library of database which contains not only current information about the current life, the details about the lives we have lived in the past, and what we intend for the future, but every alternative timeline, path not taken and every possible opportunity in between. Read more: https://www.akashicreading.com/what-is-an-akashic-reading/
Now this is very interesting.
Special Thanks To Whom Supported
I have this delay-wait-but issue within as to book this session is a big thing for me in financial terms. I am growing within, so I took time off from projects and work to set my direction, I am thankful to have people around me to support me this far. Special thanks to my partner, Wei Chee and my parents for me being able to book these two sessions. And also a huge appreciation for Ky’lama for the 50% scholarships!
I Was Searching for Others’ Experience Beforehand
Before I decided to go for it, I have been looking for reviews and feedback to see if this is helpful, my heart says a definite yes but the mind needs more reasoning to invest. After watching videos from Teal Swan and Infinite Waters about it, I decided to experience it.
So I wanted to share my experience here and recorded a video to share my personal learnings and experience, though everyone will experience differently based on own situation and the healer, still hope it shine some light to you! I highly recommend you to share your experience after you have assess the Akashic Reading either by your own or with guide, I strongly feel that it will help others.
Note that we all experience it differently, focus on the plus point and experience it yourself to know it.
My Akashic Record Reading Experience
I was excited about the reading for an hour, I felt like I am getting to find out the answers. When I arrived The Heart Sanctuary, I felt relax with the pleasant smell and energy. And I finally met Ky’lama face to face, he has a very calming energy and we started in a room. He was setting up the room and we were seated next to each other.
First he asked for my intention of this reading, what has bothered me and he would ask further to clarify my issues. I felt safe and open to share it to him, it has been a year to be open up and have someone who are open enough to listen without assumptions.
He wrote down a page of intention for all the angels, spirit guides, ascended masters and more to help in the healing process. He read out loud and we work on that intention together. I closed my eyes as per his instructions, connect to my higher self, focus on this ray of light to the heart, and have rose in the heart to absorb what does not belong to me. Roses after roses, I let things, emotions go, I do feel lighter. I sensed the healing energy lifted low vibration energy out of me. Then, I laid down for the rest of the time to heal.
This session have passed an hour and I am thankful to have time to be still after the session. Personally, I felt it is more of a healing + reading session, I prepared a page of questions to ask, but I did not. I followed the flow and I set certain expectations to receive some answers, and I understand that, staying in the moment, right now, is the most important thing. Instead of digging out the past and peek on future, I stay here and now. Thank you for the heart felt session Ky’lama. =)
Ancestral Healing Experience
It was the full moon in the sign of Taurus also the Wesak day, a day where Buddha got enlighten. According to Ky’lama, Buddha is said to make an annual appearance in a secluded valley somewhere in the Himalayas at the exact time of the full moon of Taurus. And so before we start the session, Ky’lama connect us to the Wesak energy.
We then started sitting in a circle, with 8 of us in a room of Heart Sanctuary. If I am not wrong there are three sections, there is one section where we all lay down in mats where we connect to all our 7th generation of ancestors, we call upon them one generation to one generation and Ky’lama would share us the energy he felt and we honour, understand, forgive, shine light upon our ancestors including our parents.
At the last section, we would write down our emotional pot where we realised the repeated pattern within the family members, with the help of higher realms and multi dimension guides, it was released and given to the universe to take care of.
I am thankful to heal my ancestral lineage, which I also know that this is not a one time fix it all method, and rather a start of awareness, to not fall into the same cycle. Grateful to have my parents and brother to send me to the sanctuary. And super grateful to have an occasional meal conversation with Ky’lama before the session starts.
Hi beautiful, I am committed to record my weekly reflection and put it on Youtube. This is my first recorded reflection. YEEHAW!
And the beautiful thing of this video is I had a visitor – Ms Chicky was with me, note the creative expression of it. There would be dog barks in the middle, a chance for us all to practise compassion with love. 😉
I shared about my discover about Pleiadians, Lemuria, Atlastis, Lyra system which is so interesting. Plus, the resonance in being a Starseed. Also shared about the learnings on how to not take things personally with an introduction of Tapping works I learned and practise. At the end, the phone went out of storage that I have to end without saying goodbye. See you soon, have a wonderful week. =)
Here is the video:
I record it without preparation, I wanted to be at the moment and speak at that moment. Hope it helps you in anyways. ❤
There are moments in life we have to walk the path alone. It is full of uncertainty, but what’s guaranteed is, it will make us stronger. This “walk” or “path” I meant for stages of life or even experience of life. It could be an adventure to the mountain, it could be a stage where we seek for self discovery, these two works for my current situation.
It is true to have your loved ones by your side is a good company and support system when things go wrong or right, we inherit with a need for social tribe. But, there is this time, where we want to take a break from all the advices, opinions, judgments, guidance, we just want to follow what the heart says instead of what others want from us.
I need a break from technology distractions, comforting home, well-mannered friends, and well prepared food. This is a time for me to seek for my fullest expression, fulfil the life mission, and be open about what is about to come.
I have taken the first step to be and do things alone, took up the challenge to cycle up Gopeng hill. There were lots of fear and doubt, on weather, on unexpected harm, on my stamina, but, I just keep myself moving, one step at a time. There were still thunderstorms heard and rain were seen from far before I cycle up the hill.
Good thing is I am well prepared with umbrella, raincoats, and mental preparation to experience rain, then I am able to ride on. The moment I am surrounded by the green lush and negative ions, there comes all the “I-feel-good~da~da~da~” feeling. Below is the footage of the journey, please be enlighten.
What I know for sure is that even we have a conditioned mind but also an intuitive heart, to be our true version, we take the take the first step to follow our heart. Trust, you can handle it. And, it is always good to know, the universe has your back. =)
You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anyone. – Maya Angelou
We are a certain frequency of energy, a vibration that attracts the matching vibration in life. When we are relax and do things in ease, things will flow; when we are anxious about what is coming next, things will still flow but with more resistance.
Our thoughts, the mental projections were of 10 billion conditioned since the history of first born human, adding on with our ancestors projections passed generation by generation, to what we have now – the mind. It has huge components of fear and love, the two main emotions, both with survival instinct to protect our life. Somehow, with the time flows, we would find more fear emotions than love.
We are ‘stuck’ with fear in the mind.
Along with our education style, parenting style, we have this thought of fear to break the rules, to get out of the comfort zone. I am aware of these thoughts, what can I do about it? It is not to attach with the thoughts of “I can’t do it”, “I am not enough”, “I don’t deserve this”. As Eckhart Tolle said, when you are aware of the thought, you will be separated from it, the thought will disappear itself.
Some will add on with affirmations like “I am enough”, “I deserve to be loved”, “I am whole” whenever fear doubts appear in the mind. That works too. To get to the root of the “fear” seed, this is a life long journey of practising being aware and detach from it.
No matter how many articles, videos, books we read to be aware, I deem the most important step is practising it, when these thoughts arise, aware and detach.
You are not your thoughts, you are pure energy and light.
My Personal Story
I care what others think about me, a lot.
One breakthrough I did recently is to be a storyteller to children in a Vipassana Meditation children course yesterday. I do care a lot about others’ impression on me, even the children which I know I might not meet them next time.
Good thing is I took up the challenge to be judged as a storyteller in front of the kids and the volunteers. There were activities planned for the children besides meditation technique, one of it is sharing stories. I read and chose three stories I felt comfortable with.
I was given a week to rehearse but with my bad habit, only left with few hours to rehearse. When it is time, I am aware of sweaty palms and very cautious about the children’s energy level before I start. I put myself in the center of attraction, everybody is looking at me.
The mind created past memories of a failed emcee experience and childhood embarrassed moments, but, I am fully aware that I am not that person, I need to spread light and love when I express the story. I shared the stories with magical elements, sound effect, exaggerated facial expression and involved children opinions.
It was only about 10 minutes, I was sweating a lot, but with a face of smiley and a heart of love, I made it. Some children laughed, responded, and super thankful to have 2 of the volunteers’ validations. The night before I sleep, I pat myself, well done Vic Qi, for detaching yourself from the past memories.
A beautiful moment to be remembered and reminded. I am 70%-less care about others’ opinion, but more into my own progress. Putting these 70% energy to be a better self and remind others to do so to themselves.
Release yourself from “who you should be & what you should do”, be who you are.
Be aware of such thoughts and detach from it, that is one way towards freedom. May you be successful. =)
It has been two months after my second 10 days Vipassana meditation. This second revisit experience created a much more intense yet deeper realisation of the truth. After all, I aim for practical use of the technique after the 10 days.
The journey after the second experience is very much differ from the first. I am able to maintain at least 2 hours of meditation daily until now. Hereby, I am sharing my learnings and tips to maintain the daily practise.
The below learnings are more suitable for those who have been through the 10 days meditation who needs help in maintaining daily sitting. Or for those who are interested to know more about Vipassana meditation.
Here are the 5 Lessons from my Second Experience:
I believe everyone will have their own version of lessons, these are mine.
1. I learned to Observe the reality as it is rather than the imagination from the mind. When in silence, with anapana technique, which focus on the natural breath, I am connected to my essence, being aware of the self created image since young which is shaped by the society to fill the need of being like by others. I slowly detach myself with the imagine person, it felt so much lighter and surreal. With Vipassana, this time, I learned the importance of sensations from the body, where there are only two things to focus on during meditation, sensations and breathing. With the focus on sensations, I am aware of my craving to the things I love & aversion to the things that irritates me but not react based on these emotions, to respond with a smile. That is the essence of Vipassana meditation, to train the mind to a habit of not reacting to craving and aversion.
2. I am learning to Detach from the “I”/”Me”/”Mine” (mind thought, body pain) & person (family, partner). Thoughts will be lingering, wandering in the mind of past and future, the mind does not has the habit of staying in the present moment. Present moment meaning being here and now, when I am meditating, this is the ‘now’ moment, during this moment, there is nothing to worry about. But the mind has a habit of visiting the past or creating the future. I learned that these thoughts are not the essence of self, I learned to observe the thoughts as third person, and same as the body. The legs felt pain after long hours of sitting in the same pose, I learned to observe the pain and detach from it. It works the same for people too, to detach from clinging and depending on others. I learned to detach from my family members and my love ones, to be responsible for my own feelings – be it misery or happiness.
3. I am learning to Accept the reality of impermanence in life. Life events are constantly changing, which mostly are not controlled by us, thus, I learned that I can only control my own emotions, feelings, behaviour and actions. It all started with mental projections to voice projections and towards taking action. So it utterly important to start with our mindset in respond to the changes in life. I accept that 100% of my misery & my happiness comes from me, not from the life events or people. I am learning to Love & have compassion to all beings, no matter what happen that is unfavourable to me, no matter what people say about me, I am aware of the words and opinions are the person viewpoint, which is not the truth, as I understand myself, there will be no need to react, unless one’s action has crossed the limit which I will speak up. This is rather important for me. To be comfortable in expressing my needs.
The visible changes:
I am thankful to be able to have daily meditation of 1 hour in the morning and 1 hour before sleep. I refrain myself from killing mosquitos and insects. And drink Ginger before meals.
The invisible changes:
I felt lighter.
1. I am choosing to release my old self images and fantasies. There were some time where I was lost and found. I begin to discover what’s not me and what’s me. I am going to focus 100% on the purpose, the calling, and stop being nice just to be liked. I learned and Started to say “no” to others which is off the road of the calling. I Took time off to reboot. Clean my room, and give away half of my possessions like clothes.2. I react & resist lesser on undesired situation or behaviour, I would mostly response with love and compassion. But, I did react sometimes but after that, I am able to be aware and reflect on the action. I learned to Smile to the undesired situation or unfavourable behaviour of a person. I choose to focus on the sensations of the body, where it arises and fall away, just like the events in life. I am Taking 100% responsibility on the emotions that trigger me.
3. I choose to Forgive & Love with compassion, understanding when one is angry, one is suffering. Especially on my personal relationships with my family and partner, which would trigger my emotions most of the time. When one has anger, I learned that he or she is suffering inside, which anger is an emotion that portrays outside. This has been our reaction to undesired feelings, not everybody knows how to control own emotions. And most importantly, I would forgive myself if I reacted.
4. I would Take initiative to help and do the extra mile. I have been living in a comfortable situation with my parents taking extra care of me, one learning for me is to take the initiative to provide help in household.
5. I practise Smiling and greeting my neighbours and the workers in service industry. I would smile to people and send Metta to every being I passed by.
How to maintain the strong determinant of daily sitting?
For me, it is about shifting the mindset on 2 hours daily sitting ( one hour in the morning, one hour in the evening/night). Look at the benefits of it and Shift from laziness, procrastination, time consuming to a mindset of investing 1 hour of peace for yourself and your loved ones.
After 2 months of daily practise, I am moving closer to my higher self, a place of love and harmony, true happiness. I love that I am taking great care of myself, so I can take care of my loved ones and the community. If I have negative emotions while helping others, others would be affected, meaning not only i suffer, they would suffer too.
What is Vipassana? Vipassana, which means to see things as they really are, is one of India’s most ancient techniques of meditation. It was rediscovered by Gotama Buddha more than 2500 years ago and was taught by him as a universal remedy for universal ills, i.e., an Art Of Living. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYTltgveKNc.