Conscious-unconditional-loving Relationship

[For people seeking for conscious-unconditional-loving relationships]


>>> My story:
My biggest life lesson and great teachers so far are from my ‘romance’ relationships where I am (still) unlearning conditional love patterns to practising unconditional love towards self and loved ones.

One day, I received a video from Ca-Ryn on Sacred Marriage Ceremony of Shay (page: RisingWoman) & Ben (page: Evolving Man) which I have had this vision for some time with the celebration involving: honouring elders, shadow & sacred vows, cacao, elemental blessings, veiling, a gifting ceremony, the group gift exchange, and of course a dance party.

Their story validates the possibility of experiencing it for myself and many others.
—> Video on instagram:

I am beyond grateful for Ben & Shay to share their conscious relationship stories. This shows me new perspectives and possibilities especially on Shadow Vows where we own and acknowledge our shadow side with each other during the ceremony.


“When we shed light on the shadow, the darkness losses its grip.”

>>> From Sheeleana, the bride:

“My Shadow Vows:

> I own that I am going to project my anger at you instead of sharing my feelings or asking for what I need.
> I own that some days I’m going to be hard to be around.
> I own that I’m going to project people who hurt me in the past onto you and demonize you in my mind…

Sacred Vows:

> I vow to see you as a whole person with your own path, to encourage you to follow your heart and honor yourself even if it means I don’t get my way.
> I vow to prioritize my mental, physical, emotional and spiritual well-being in our partnership.
> I vow to take responsibility for my mind, my emotions, projections, and experiences so you are free to be exactly who you are in our partnership…”

—> Read more from the Source Rising Woman:…/

>>> From Ben, the groom:


> I own that I’m going to expect you to be more like me, instead of embracing our differences.
> I own that I’m going to be stubborn and want to hold on to “my truth” and my perspective instead of letting go.
> I own that I’m going to dominate the space and not leave room for you…”

In the end this work is all about self-acceptance, and the more we accept ourselves, the less we act out unconsciously, and the closer we will be to our partners. If you want true, real closeness, you must expose yourself and be vulnerable. Shine a light on the dark and you’ll find you’ve got more room to breathe, and more room to love.

—> Read more from the Source Evolving Man:


Above all, I wish you to experiencing a conscious relationship where it inspires us to grow and complete ourselves while enjoy the magical adventure with your partner. 

– Mera

13th Jan 2020

Happy New Decade 2020!

Aloha, hereby wishing you a Happy New 2020!

I just wanna take a small second to say Happy New Decade 2020, much blessings and abundance of love to you and your loved ones 

Here’s our love message from Ca-Ryn and I with special thanks to Connectshaun and cats  Music credit: Har Ji.

Self-Reflection 2019






I have one reflective question for me and for you.

Question: Looking back to 1st January 2019, What would you say you yourself back then? 

I would ask myself to love deeper, laugh louder, dance wilder, fight fiercely, kiss more, play more, cry more, hug longer, speak boldly, appreciate more and allow more beautiful moments to happen. More “yes” to what my heart desires and more “no” to the opposite. Most importantly, reclaim your power within. enjoy the ride while have faith in life. Everything is here to help you, even the perceived negative happenings are blessings in disguise.

What a wonderful dream 2019, I’m sorry for whom I disappointed, please forgive me for that. I thank you for loving, sharing and caring me. And I love you. ♥️


Much Love,


Merry Christmas To You =)



This is ‘Silent Night’ with Kalimba to you,

may you enjoy the festive celebration,

feel so good to be alive baby!

I wish you and your family a Merry Christmas filled with love and joy! May this Christmas brings endless happiness and love to your life. Merry Christmas! May the warmth of Christmas fills your life with love and peace.

Photo on 11-12-2019 at 3.19 PM

Sharing beautiful moments we had few days back, we made Ginger Bread man and all sorts of cookies, it was really fun to do it together! Thank you dear young troopers for the experience!


Love & hugs, 

Mera ❤ 

Winter Solstice – Memories & More Celebration

What’s the meaning of winter solstice for you?

How did you celebrate it?


Family Gathering Since Born

Every year’s Winter Solstice was my grandfather’s birthday, where we celebrated his birthday all my life till this year, he left the physical world. But, I honour this day to him. Thank you grandpa for birthing on this date which allows us to come home as family during Winter Solstice. I love you.



For Chinese:


We called it ‘Dong Zhi’ where we gather and eat glutinous balls, a part of the culture, especially in China to welcome winter. In Malaysia, we do not have winter yet I have this culture to gather as one important celebration since young.

This year, its different. I decided to ‘celebrate’ this day alone. Because I discovered the importance of Winter Solstice in many ancient cultures.


For Northern Hemisphere:


It is the shortest day of the year, longest night of the year where the ancient pagan culture would call it ‘Yule Time’ (Norse god Odin; Goddess Moon energy) where they burn Yule logs for 12 days. Many celebrations in the Northern Hemisphere focus on this sacred time in Nature, when the promise of light and life returns. Yule is connected to the joy at the birth of the Sun God, child of the Goddess. It is a celebration of rebirth.

For Jewish:

Hannukah-2019-date-when-does-Hannukah-start-time-1218540It is the Hanukkah or Chanukah, the Festival of Light for 8 days, this year, Hannukah begins at sunset on Sunday, December 22 and runs until nightfall on Monday, December 30.. Each night, one additional candle is lit by the shamash until all eight candles are lit together on the final night of the festival. Families will get together and sing traditional songs, give gifts to children, eat and spin the dreidel.

For Iranian:

SHAB E YALDA 2017-TURMERICSAFFRONIts called Shab-e Yalda, an Iranian festival celebrated on the “longest and darkest night of the year”.  One of the most ancient Persian festivals annually celebrated on December 21,  Yalda means birth and it refers to the birth of Mitra; the mythological goddess of light. People gather in groups of friends or relatives usually at the home of grandparents or the elderly to pass the longest night of the year happily by eating nuts and fruits, reading Hafiz poems, making good wishes, and talking and laughing all together to give a warm welcome to winter, and a felicitous farewell to autumn.

For Native Americans, some tribes would celebrate as the beginning of the year.


Winter Solstice


This is the time,

where we say goodbye to the old,

welcome the new.

Where Sun returns to the Earth,

Life begins once more.


It is the celebration of the Light,

the rebirth of the Sun.


Time to renew our connection,

personal and with each other,

and spiritually connect to our ancestors.


Look within yourself,

focus on your intentions.


Light a candle,

keep lights off,

screens off,

embrace the darkness.





22nd December 2019

Dancing in Gaharu Tea Valley Gopeng

Hi, this is Mera, I was raised in a small town called Gopeng, Perak of Malaysia.

Proudly present you Gaharu Tea Valley where 200,000 Gaharu Trees are planted within the rainforest. Hereby sharing a short movement with a quote I love. Hope you enjoy it.


“This life is yours. Take the power to choose what you want to do and do it well. Take the power to love what you want in life and love it honestly. Take the power to walk in the forest and be a part of nature. Take the power to control your own life. No one else can do it for you. Take the power to make your life happy.” ― Susan Polis Schutz


“When you think of me, think of nature. It will lead you home.” – Mera


Hope to see you one day in the valley!




My Addiction: Chocolate (it’s sugar, precisely)

Who crave for chocolate as much as I do?



Or we should say its the sugar the culprit behind the scene. I have this programming in mind ‘when you are not happy, eat chocolate, it will makes you happier’. So with the intention to feel good plus the emotion, I feel so good eating chocolate.

High 5 if we are on the same page. Well, all is well, when it is in balance. Addiction happens when I am feeling out of balance and eating more-than-I-should (compulsively). What happen after that is that the body does not feel good after consuming it, it feels lethargic and the skin protest such overeating of sugar.

Do you feel the same? Regardless of any food you crave. Then, I found something interesting on reason behind the constant craving,



From ‘Constant Craving’ by Doreen Virtue: 

If you don’t face your emotions, your cravings will remain constant.

If your cravings seem more geared toward high fat foods, you’re most likely feeling some insecurity that you’re trying to fill with fat. Fat stays in the stomach long after other forms of food have been digested and emptied. So, fat cravings often occur in people who feel that their life lacks meaning, who feel empty, or who feel financially or emotionally insecure. – Dr Doreen Virtue


What food cravings may mean: 

  • Bread and butter – You may be feeling trapped and procrastinating about making necessary changes.
  • Crisps – You may be feeling stressed or anxious, wanting to ease worry.
  • Chocolate – You might be craving love.
  • Cheese – You could be feeling exhausted, fearing the worst, or want comfort.
  • Coffee – You may be drained of energy, be feeling burned out, resentful or disappointed with your job.
  • Vanilla ice cream – You may be feeling tense, fearful and wish to be soothed and renewed.
  • Nuts – You could be suffering from tension, too much stress, not enough fun, anxiety and lowered peace of mind.

About Chocoholism

Do you agree that the actual source of the chocolate craving is the desire for more love and excitement in your life?


Chocolate contains the same chemical that the brain creates when we are feeling romantic love. 4 possible reasons for chocolate cravings:

1. Love and emotional attachments: chocolate creates the feeling of being loved, cherished and understood.
2. Hormonal shift throughout menstrual cycle trigger cravings.
3. Excellent temporary antidepressant.
4. Boost energy.

Chocoholism is a cry for love, intimacy, and romance. It is the perfect antidepressant for the lovesick.

  • High fat content soothes feelings of emptiness, insecurities or loneliness.
  • High carbohydrate content triggers production of the brain’s feel-good chemical, serotonin.
  • The texture can be creamy if you need comfort, or crunchy if you are angry over your love life.


The most direct route to reducing cravings is to heal the situation that’s triggering them. Even taking a baby step toward the resolution of a problem at work, in your love life, or in your lifestyle can reduce food cravings. – Dr Doreen Virtue


Some emergency solutions for out-of-control chocolate cravings:
1. Ginger drinks
2. Eat nonfat chocolate
3. Exercise

I deserve love.
I am love, and love shines through me.
I am full of love, through and through.


When you resist, persists.

Before and After: Chocoholism version

I tend not to resist at times, one way of me dealing with it is a slow reduction on daily basis. Still, I kept asking myself, why is this craving telling me?

Until I discover a new perspective from my all time favourite, Matt Kahn.

Here is The New Perspective 

Shifting from the mind imaginative scary pattern to feeling it in the heart:



Matt Kahn’s words of explaining cravings, speaking to the imaginative mind who created cravings as a habit pattern.

“Thank you craving for reminding me that I spend too much time in my imagination and not enough time by my feelings. If we can, at that moment to be with our feelings and ask ourselves the inquiry, “what does it feel like to sit and crave something and not give it what it wants?” I did not spend enough time with cravings. I was feeding the patterns of desperation as a way of hiding emotion desperation which back then I don’t feel safe enough to feel. I spent too much time perceiving from my imagination. When I perceive, that’s from the imagination, that’s the only reason why it is scary.

“Repeat after me, what if the only reason why my feelings are scary is because I am perceiving from my imagination? And my imagination tells me, that I can’t leave my imagination cause those feelings are scary. But that just keeps me in my imagination, not because my imagination is holding me hostage purposely, but because its just a pattern whose only job is to maintain the pattern. So my imagination will tell me, anything other than being my imagination is scary which could only be the play of imagination.




When I overlooked the play of imagination, my imagination plays me, and if i spend more time feeling openly, i will find not so many scary things and instead of craving things I am allergic to, that is just showing me how much time I spend in my imagination, I can be more rooted in my feelings. When I am more rooted in my feelings, I feed myself with the things that nourish my heart instead of making my imagination more aggressive and monstrous. And so I am free.”

“Oh my beautiful mind, my beautiful imaginative mind, I love you so much, I am aware the things you crave that creates allergy in me, and instead i will feed my body that nourishes my heart. Because my action is the spiritual practise apart of the holy divinity union where I use my choices to honour the god in me. It will be no surprise the other people will honour the god in me.”

“I am the light, the light I am.”

–> Excerpt from this video:

Consider This

Shine light to the places we tend to overlook, pay attention to the feelings, is it an imaginary habit pattern? What happen if we just sit and be with it while not giving what it craves?

I am going to sit with the feeling when the cravings come to me next. Looking to share you my experience soon.

*Update the next day: I was sitting patiently in front of subway when I have craving for cookies. I re-read the words of Matt Kahn, sit with it. It works, there are no more cravings. Wow. This, you gotta experience it to find out if it works for you. 🙂


Love & blessings,


15th December 2019



Sadness & Forgiveness

I went through something and I want to share about how i feel. Do u mind if you hold space for me? I need to feel it through, it will go when it goes.


I feel sad. (wiping my tears) I was going through my Google photos, sliding down the memories lane. Going through day by day in rewind mode, listening to a song from a Korean drama repeatedly, sadness stop by for a visit.

I see photos of myself, the old self with my loved ones, the objects, the nature I love. It is a sense of grief. I miss the old me, the familiar feelings of me interacting with my family and loved ones, the conversations. But, I know I don’t want it back.

It is a process of grieving. Where I understand, grief is not a linear process but it would come by certain triggers. What I can do is to allow myself to feel it thoroughly, let it go through its complete cycle. Instead of turning away, I tune inwards.

Then, I was listening to Matt Kahn’s The Beauty of Remembrance (video below), I learn about forgiveness in a new light. As I am aware of my feelings, I wish to shed light on healing my father’s wound on me, which consciously or unconsciously created my programming on relationships. Coincidently, Matt talked about forgiveness which allows me to forgive while I grief. 


Here are his words.

I forgive them for forgetting / forsaking their own divinity and they projected that forgetfulness (pain) to me. They didn’t see my divine light. I forgive you for being so out of touch of your divine protection, that you projected a pain onto a light being, who would be closer to forgiving them to usher them into the transformation healing journey that helps to guarantee that no one else will be hurt by them, including themselves.

I forgive you for forsaking the light in my presence.

Thank you for this opportunity to remember my perfection through my willingness to forgive you for forsaking your light.

Thank you for allowing me to feel the emotions long enough. To embrace the discomfort. Unworthiness is when light forgets how to remember itself. I accept that I feel this way even I don’t feel like it. I am sitting with you.

I love myself through it, if it takes longer, i love myself more. Here’s how I feel and I am staying where my feelings are. Love them until they are ready to let go. It matters how align you are at that moment.

You may watch his Video here:


Everything is here to help you. Whatever arises, love that. I am absolutely grateful for Matt’s Love Revolution. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 


Much Love & blessings,


14th December 2019