I am in the process of grieving over my recently ended relationship with my ex-partner. One whom witness my growth since I was 19 years old till today.
We were good friends since I knew him, one whom I feel safe with. We then developed 10 years of friendship with 7 years of romantic relationship. Why did we ended up separated? Pretty much the same reasons I found in this article: 10 Lessons I Learned About Grief From Ending My 10-Year Marriage.
From the article: “…there were things that I wanted out of life that I wasn’t getting in the marriage. This included things like sexual intimacy, support for my creative passions, shared enthusiasm for opportunities to travel and explore.
Faced with the option of staying in my marriage and sacrificing who I was or leaving the relationship in order to become who I needed to become, I chose the latter.”
I appreciate and honour his presence this far, he is my soul teacher. During this period, I am allowing what I needed to feel now, with many blessings from the people around and online. Sometimes, I do feel the need to express and I would choose to share here. So someone might be benefited from the similar situation.
“As the poet Robert Frost wrote, ‘the only way round is through,'”
I acknowledge what we have been through together, the shared memories and our ties to each family and friends. I accept this stage, that I chose to close the circle between us. Guilt will pop-up once a while, thus, forgiveness is given whenever I feel I am not enough.
I also learned that grief is not a linear process.
The mind would create an image of sad situation with sad songs playing like a standard way of behaviour after a break-up, almost like you have to feel sad only. For a few times I am aware of such self judgement thoughts when I feel happy. It is very different for everyone during this period thus I only speak for myself.
I felt lighter and spacious internally. At times, songs might triggered the memories stored in the body cells, I would allow myself to feel what I needed to feel. Like everything else, this too, will eventually pass. Memories are always treasured within the heartspace. Nothing is wasted.
For now, I would love to serve. Co-creating space for people to express their inner feelings through storytelling.
Sending abundant love to one (you) who is going through the same process now. May you feel loved from within and know that you are supported. ❤ I love you.
Vic Qi Meraki