Difficult Words

During difficult times, how do you go through it ?

A quote says, “to cure the pain is in the pain.”

I am embracing my pain and be okay with feeling uncomfortable. I choose to change instead of feeling stuck. Feeling the transitions, shedding the old layers, saying goodbye to familiar faces and places, appreciating what happened.

I thank you for loving the way I used to be. I thank you for giving all the support I need. I thank you for thinking of me. I thank you for making me laugh. I thank you for giving me a place to stay and a car to drive around. I thank you for sharing me food and love. I thank you for having me in mind for a long time. I thank you for supporting my work and your kind words of me. I thank you for your generosity for 10 years.

I tried to fit myself in the box of yours but I couldn’t do it anymore. I appreciate your good intentions but I cannot allow myself to be put down anymore. I appreciate your thoughts and expectations on me but I cannot fit into that image of yours. I appreciate your honesty and your suggestions but it’s not of my interest. I appreciate your patience with me, but I do not intend to tolerate your temper forever. I appreciate your love and I love you too but I just can’t stay side by side anymore.

No matter how hard I tried, I just can’t force myself to fit in the norms. It’s just so sad for me to think of this. How many years of friction getting to understand each other needs, we still have to go through this.

Im very desperate for change. I can’t risk losing my needs. I can’t bear the consequences just by imagining it. Though I still hope for the best. Of us.

Maybe it’s meant to be. That we learned so much from each other during these years. Maybe we just need to accept the fact that this is how it is.

It’s your birthday tomorrow. Your existence and our encounter is part of the sacred contract. I meant to meet , be with you, grow with you. Look who we are now. Despite challenges, we still grew a lot since then.

I am sending you loving thoughts, know that we all have choices. Free to choose in life. I choose to flow with life.

There is a sentence I saw in Instagram this morning. Very powerful.

”I am letting you go.”

I am sorry, please forgive me.

I thank you and I love you.

 

Infinite love,

VicQi

 

 

 

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